Jen Stover

Love as a Behavior Management Tool

Today I am reflecting on my past and remembering all the little guys and gals I taught in first grade at Valley View Elementary in Bloomington, MN.  My first class of first graders would be graduating this upcoming year.  Can't believe I've been at it that long!  I am thinking of those wonderful children that taught me so much about life and learning, struggles in the classroom, as well as at home in some cases. It was a challenging way to begin my career as a teacher, working with such a diverse population of families and teachers.  An amazing experience!

There are days when I wish I could go back and talk to myself, remind myself to be just a little bit more patient, just a little but more understanding, maybe a bit more calm than I was in certain situations of misbehavior.   After having my own children, I learned that calmness in the face of adversity (even among the little ones) is the best way to gain their trust and respect.  I'm human, and of course don't always respond in this way!  But I think we all know - love and compassion, choices, and a genuine care for your kiddos goes a long, long way.

Now, I'm not saying that when a child breaks a rule, constantly disrupts class, or hurts another child that you buckle under pressure and let it pass.  If caring and consistent boundaries have been drawn, I imagine the punishment will be clear to these children, and will gently be put into place....right?

Several of my kiddos acted out, just to see me "act up."  And, on occasion, I certainly did put on a show.  Now, I was not an ogre, I loved my kids.  But, I know they wanted drama, and sometimes, they got what they wanted.  What if I hadn't let myself create that scene?  What if I would have brought myself back down to the level of caring and compassion, letting them know I truly cared, was simply disappointed, and the consequence was on the way.  Kill them with kindness, in other words!  I think many of the antics and disruptions would have stopped, much sooner.

We all know compliments and redirection go further to prevent misbehavior than public displays of anger or frustration.  If we want to cure the disrespect and outburst of bad behaviors in the classroom, we need to teach them how to be respectful.  Treat them with respect, they will learn to respect.

My children are 5 and 2, girl and boy, very competitive for mom and dad's attention.  They try to outdo one another all the time, and sometimes even work together to push the limit of mom's patience.  I know how much a little extra love and compassion, care and understanding works with my children....they are much more cooperative, eager to please and seem to get along better with one another. 

This is just my two cents for the day.  I think it all boils down to one thing.  Love. 

Show a little love, compassion, understanding and interest in your students!  Everyday!  Teach like it might be your last day to make an impact.  Let every kiddo know they are special and worth your time.  Then, watch the learning happen;  Behavior problems diminish a little more each day. 

I bet your golden apple it will work! :-)

Curiosity: the spark that Ignites Lifelong Learning

Just finished viewing  a video of Angela Maiers teaching a habitudes lesson with elementary students...WOW!  Being a first grade teacher (at heart), I am amazed at how engaged and thoughtful these students were behaving as they worked on the lesson.  The lesson topic: curiosity and learning.  How good learners can be great just by striving to curious all their lives, asking "genius questions."

If young children can do this, why can't we do this each and every day?  I'm curious about that....

How could I have been a better teacher to my students when I taught first grade?

 How, after realizing these specific things, can I use this knowledge to be a better trainer and higher education adjunct professor? 

I am more curious now than ever about the type of consultant I am going to be, working with so many educators who are phenomenal and, to me, my mentors.  Suddenly, I am the one teaching them??  How is all of this going to work out smoothly? 

Angela's lesson with the kids reminds us all that curiosity and inspiration are the spark that ignites the fire of learning in all of our lives. 

What Staff Development Means to Me

Tonight, I am thinking about meaningful staff development experiences, things that I hope will happen each time I am involved in staff development.  I am listing these items, so I don't forget my focus as I join a fabulous team of educational consultants, and touch many educators lives along the way.  What was it I always wished for when I was an elementary teacher, involved in trainings?

• immediately applicable experiences - already designed lesson plans, planning time for implementation
• collaboration time with my team, for brainstorming ways to stretch this idea into other areas
• validation that I do not have to reinvent myself with each new training and experience; remembering what I do well and areas I would like to improve
• evidence - something that will motivate me to implement my learning in the classroom.  I want to see that what I am being taught has had a tremendous effect on other children in other classrooms, maybe a visual of that happenning.
• Inspiration, and a short trip back in time, helping me remember again and again  WHY I chose this career over all others, remembering what kind of difference I want to make in this world and in each day with those around me. 
• Confidence - I want to know I can do this, I want the person who is training me to help me feel that this IS possible and I am ready to go and try it...NOW.
• Time - to plan these changes, and time to talk with others on how they will implement the new learning.

I will strive to create all the above experiences for the learners I will touch...soon!  I can't wait to be a part of this.

Creating Our Students' Futures, One "Inspired" Mind at a Time!

Today, as I sit and wonder what I should blog, one word seems to be coming to mind.  Inspiration.  Just got off the phone a moment ago with Angela Maiers, my friend, mentor, colleague, now partner in the world of educational consulting.  The future seems so bright and open to just about any possibility, I am beyond excited with what is to come. 

I am inspired today because I realize something.  What many teachers and adults who came before me have said is true....if you believe in yourself and your dreams, you can make your future anything you want it to be.  You need enough confidence to believe in yourself, never forgeting to lead with your heart and keep your faith first and foremost. 

If I was told 11 years ago (as I began my career as a teacher) that I would have the opportunity to help support other educators in their growing careers and skill sets, I would have laughed and said, "doubtful."   I would never have imagined being a college lecturer,  or training an entire staff in the latest and greatest teaching strategies.  It has been an amazing path that has led me to this place, for which I am so grateful,  and moved to tears just thinking about it.

We as educators need to remember.....our job isn't just building up our students' brains, it's about also building up their hearts.  A student will remember how you make them "feel" fifty years from now, not what you taught them from a textbook.  I think if we all remember that, we might see a lot more confidence, knowing that one more person believes in their ability to do something  great. 

For whatever reason, many students have very little self-confidence.  Teachers, please tell them,  "I believe you can."  And they will.  Especially if they hear that from every teacher, every day, every year of their educational journey.